Well, I'm updating this beastly thing because I've been told to..  but, nonetheless, it's being done.

What's been happening in my extraordinary [pff.. yeah right] life lately?  Well, frankly, not much.. musical rehersals with the gang, band practice has taken a major dive into nothingness [hopefully, we'll get it together soon], karate [which takes up a fair amount of my time], FCA, and the the wednesday night youth group from 7-8 [there ya go john] ..  yep, your basic, every day, original, no-brainer life.

So... for your enjoyment - here's a song.  =)

NOTES FOR FINDING

is it just a game I'm losing
at every given turn?
do You find this amusing?
because it's making me unnerved
and I can feel this coming
breaking through my mind
some things aren't worth trying
let them die in their due time

what have I become.... ?

(chorus)
I'm blinded by a feeling
that I thought I could control
and now it's taking me to places
that I don't want to go
begging You to stop me here
pleading me to stay
yeah, I can hear Your whispers
but I'm going anyway

You've wrapped me tight in cornerstone
and turned me out inside
this feeling that I'm feeling now
seems more than just a bribe
so if it doesn't harm You
I think I'd rather stay
and if it's more than what I want
it's better anyway
to see this light inside me
grow stronger with decay

knock me down to the core of it
drive me away from the heart
and I wills ee You for who You really are

what have I become... ?

I can see this meaning
so I'll let You control
and take me to these places
You know I'd rather go
begging You to take me there
knowing that You'll stay
yeah, I can hear Your whispers
and I'm coming Your way

-YDNAC-

Time stood by the window
Watching the rain fall and thinking of you
Thoughts that I could never show
And times I wish I could let go
Come flooding back with the memories
Of things we used to do

(chorus)
I wish you could mean
Something more to me
But the truth seems so unclear
I'm dreaming of you to be
Anything more to me
But I'm scared to let you near

I was thinking about forever
I should have been thinking it's now or never
Because you tore my heart open
A wound for everyone to see
Now I'm trying to go on without you
But you left me torn in two
I see you left room for hope and
A scar I can't afford to keep

You want to know my weakness
Something secret - I'll tell you the truth
No more fancy words or rhyming this time
My weakness is you

-YDNAC-

When you truly love someone you give them the power to hurt you really bad, and more than likely they will use that power.  That's when you can say that you know the agony of love.  Love is the stuff that takes you to the cross.  It's the stuff that cuts open your side, rips open your back, and nails you to a tree.  Love isn't always the wonderful dream you imagine it is, but it is the fulfillment of God's will.  It is the greatest commandment : To love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength and to love your neighbor as yourself.  This is why you crave it so much.  And the movies are why when you have it, you doubt it.  Because it's not all about feeling good.

Candace

Prone to wonder, Lord, I feel it
Prone to leave the God I love
Here's my heart, oh, take and seal it
Seal it for Thy courts above

-Going The Distance

In this world things are bound to distract us, to capture our attention, and those things, no matter the size, can have the potential to lead us astray.  You then find yourself embracing these new, exciting things while in the meantime a relationship (the most important one) gets shattered, and in the end you are left with only a distant memory of the thrills you've experienced.  And even then, the memory of those things brings an even deeper agony, inflicting itself on your heart because y ou now know that they are the cause of your separation.  But, in an attempt to spare our weary souls from that type of traumatizing anguish, God asks us, pleads with us to give Him our hearts.  He knows exactly what to do with it and what it needs.  After all, He created it.

What's on your mind constantly?  What do you spend hours on end thinking about?  What are you on fire for?  Where is your heart?

-YDNAC-

Sin never fulfills our deepest longing, worse than that it always leads to death.

You are the one I've violated, and you've seen it all, seen the full extent of my evil. You have all the facts before you. Whatever you decide about me is fair. I've been out of step with  you for a long time, in the wrong since before I was born. What you're after is truth from the inside out. Enter me, then. Conceive a new, true life.  -teach me wisdom in the inmost place.

    Nothing is lonelier than being separated from God because of sin. If you don't believe that, check out David's words in Psalm 51 (the passage above), he just screwed up big time. But he didn't care about how his sin was going to affect him or what people were saying about him. He was most distraught over how his sin had affected his relationship with God. That's why his prayer was so intense. He had to know everything was made right with his most important relationship before dealing with anything else.  -When you do something that hurts your relationship with God, don't just try to shrug it off. Don't just say "Oops, my bad.." and leave it at that. Treat sin as seriously as David did. Step up to the plate, admit what you did wrong and beg God for his forgiveness. That's the only way to make things right with God again.

Well, now is the right time to listen, the day to be helped. Don't put it off. Our work as God's servants gets validated (or not) in the details. People are watching us as we stay at our post, unswervingly.. in hard times, bad times; when we're beaten up, jailed, and mobbed; working hard, working late, working without eating; with pure heart, clear head, steady hand; in gentleness, holiness, and honest love; when we're telling the truth, and when God's showing His power; when we're doing our best setting things right; when we're praised, and when we're blamed; slandered, and honored; true to our word, though distrusted; ignored by the world, but recognized by God; terrifically alive, though rumored to be dead; beaten within an inch of our lives, but refusing to die; immersed in tears yet always filled with deep joy; living on handouts, yet enriching many; having nothing, having it all.

         More Than Conquerors
     So, what do you think? With God on our side like this, how can we lose? If God didn't hesitate to put everything on the line for us, embracing our condition and exposing Himself to the worst by sending His Son, is there anything else he wouldn't gladly and freely do for us? And who would dare tangle with God by messing with one of God's chosen? Who would dare even point a finger? The One who died for us, who was raised to life for us! -is in the presence of God at this very moment sticking up for us. Do you think anyone is going to be able to drive a wedge between us and Christ's love for us? There is no way! Not trouble, not hard times, not hatred, not hunger, not homelessness, not bullying threats, not backstabbing, not even the worst sins listed in scripture. None of this fazes me because Jesus is with me. I am absolutely convinced that nothing.. nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable - absolutely NOTHING can get between us.

You've all been to the stadium and seen the athletes race. Everyone runs, one wins. Run to win. All good athletes train hard, they do it for the gold metal that tarnishes and fades. You're after one that's gold eternally. - Romans 9:24 I don't know about you, but I'm running hard for the finish line. I'm giving it everything I've got. No sloppy living for me! I'm staying alert and in top condition, I won't be caught napping, telling everyone else all about it and then missing out myself.

Don't burn out, keep yourselves fueled and aflame.

Love from the center of who you are, don't fake it! Run for dear life from evil, hold on for dear life to good. -Romans 12:9

-YDNAC-

If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but do not love, I am nothing.

        -Solomon uses a poetic term for it "do not arouse or awaken love". But you get the idea of what he's talking about, don't you? Letting your hormones run wild, awakening desires that you just can't control even when you think you can. Whether you call it first base or second base, you know there's a point where innocent romance becomes not-so-innocent lust. That's the point you have to stay away from. When lust gets even the tiniest foothold in your life, it sets in motion a pattern of sin that can do life-changing damage.

How do you feel about "belonging" to someone? How do you feel about someone "belonging" to you?

Faithfulness starts now, not later. There's nothing magical about saying the words "I do" in a wedding ceremony that guarantees a guy or girl will suddenly morph into a man or woman of strong commitment. A man will stay true to his bride only if he's already developed a faithful character over time. And likewise for a woman to her groom.    -If you're going to spend time with one girl in order to get to know her then reign in your roving eyes. Keep the same rules for your girlfriend now that you plan to have for your wife later:

• Be faithful to her, and her alone   _Proverbs 5:15-18
• Remain sexually pure untill marriage   _Hebrews 13:4
• Treat her like a qeen   _Song of Solomon 2:14
• Remember the "Golden Rule"  _Matthew 7:12  you'd be furious if your girlfriend cheated on you - so don't do it to her!

Of all the gifts the Lord has given us, the greatest of these is Love. Why else would Paul state that "If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr but I do not love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I am nothing without love."
       Love.. such a commonly used word that very few people seem to know the actual meaning of. God knew the meaning when He sent His Son to die for us. God defines Love.
       Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn't want what it doesn't have. Love doesnt' strut, doesn't have a swelled head, doesn't force itself on others, isn't always "me first", doesn't fly off the handle, doesn't keep score of the sins of others, doesn't revel when others grovel, takes pleasure in the truth, puts up with anything, trusts God always, always looks for the best, never looks back, but keeps going to the end.

          -If this isn't your definition of love, maybe it's time to re-think why it's such a treasured word. It's not one that should be carelessly tossed about and said without the deep meaning that it started with and will always have.

Don't talk to the talk if you're not ready to walk the walk.

Candace L: would like to thank, hug, high five, and/or smooch the following people for making her smile a whole lot this last year and a half. My good looking family - mom, dad, chels, (macho man) vince, brandon, sherry, nichole, brandi, dustin, jess, jen, gramma, grampa, baby jada, baby becca + all the other little tykes under the age of eight. Nick, evan, that drummer chick (crystal), heidi (meatloaf), burge (micheal), devon "search for snowcones" swanson, brock (mr. karate) hoover, ben (ddr) mingle, john ross "shpidoidle is not a word" green, david b (the italian dude), vince c., richard "whoa!", kyle you still owe me two bucks richardson, jack "i live in london and you don't" d, clay, deejay, kaylee, bre, bryant, noah "that sk8er dude" neff., greg "i need security" meredith, samman THA gorsuch, larissa, johanna, rae, chelsea "you're my sunshine" cherry, jamie "the dawn" kensinger, travis "you wann go?" ozwald, kyle d, mark s, nate "where's my juliet?" bates, steven t, clint, jake "i can't read your writing" bal, chris "scope for cool cats" kurtz, c'jay c, darren m, joey m, troy k, emm k, brian, ryan "i'm sooo hungry!" haines, nick h, rodney c, that cali dude (chace), big dome kid (zach), jeremiah, john, josh "reservation" lemin, ian h, nate, ryan m, meagan, erin, james b, jenn l, dani b, willie e, jamie 2nd k, ty, tyler s, nikki g, whit en nay!, craig "i want pickles!" peters + God Almighty (i really mean that, not just cause everyone else says it)

<3 Candace